My Mouth is Very Foolish Now

I’ve never liked going to the dentist. I know most people don’t like the dreaded tooth doctor, but for me, the dread has nothing to do with the pain of filings, or the sound of the drill, but something very absurd. I have never had a cavity, and so I am one of those lucky few who have never had a drill in my mouth. Carpentry runs deep in my blood, so I know that drills are meant for wood, not enamel.

Every time I go to the dentist, there is the fear that they will tell me that I have a cavity. It’s a ridiculous fear, but I have a record to maintain!

But here I am, sitting in the dentist’s office, waiting to sit in the chair. But this time, it’s not for a filling (32 year record still standing!), but for an extraction. I am about to get my two upper wisdom teeth pulled. Before I moved to Kenya, my two lower wisdom teeth were pulled because they were causing pain. Of course, I waited until there were only a few days left before my dental insurance expired, but I finally had two teeth yanked from my mouth. My wife still talks about the foolishness that came out of my mouth as I woke up.

I only had the two pulled that day, mostly because of how cheap I was (still am). The insurance refused to pay for the extraction of the top two teeth, because they weren’t causing me pain. And I was NOT going to fork out $2000 to have a couple teeth pulled.

So now, four years later and half a world away, I am finally having the last two yanked out. The good part about losing the final bit of wisdom I have is the price tag.

Sorry, they just called me back. Here it goes, I’ll let you know how everything comes out.

Okay, all done. I think that doctor was trained at the NASCAR School of Dentistry. He had both of my wisdom teeth pulled before I finished listening to one song from the Jurassic Park soundtrack!

But as I was saying, the biggest plus today is the cost. When I had my other wisdom teeth pulled, my co-pay was $300. To have the other teeth pulled would have cost $2000 more. Today, with no insurance, the total for the pulling was only $125!

Think about it, if you need your wisdom teeth pulled and have no insurance, it would be cheaper to get a passport, fly to Kenya, and have them extracted here! Plus, you can have your recovery in a place where lions and zebra are outside your window. Can’t get much better than that.

Okay, now it’s your turn. Go ahead, tell your four wisdom tooth stories. Anyone have tusks like a warthog that needed to be pulled?

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